Coaching Basics For Leaders

A farmer sitting in his yard saw an unknown horse entering his gate. He asked everyone whose horse was that, but no one claimed. The horse didn’t have any identity mark. His friends suggested he keep the horse. However, he was determined to return it to the owner. ‘Why would you make that futile effort? No one knows where the horse belongs to?’ Everyone around him discouraged.

He remained committed.

He rode the horse. And let him choose where to go. The horse moved in one direction. He kept quiet. At regular intervals, the horse kept side-tracking. Sometimes for the grass or upon seeing his fellow horses. And when it went for a bit too long, the rider gently redirected the horse, bringing it back on track. The horse walked into a village; the rider had never been also, several miles away from his own. The horse stopped in front of a house. A man came out and was overjoyed to have his prized horse back home. ‘Thank you, gentleman. But how did you know it was my horse and it belongs here’. The man asked the farmer with a sign of amazement on his face.

The farmer smiled and said, ‘I had no idea that it was your horse. I didn’t know he belonged here. But I believed that the horse does. All I did is keeping him on the track.’ This one-story captures every single concept I am going to reveal in this book.

I always use this story to help people understanding what coaching is. Coaching is not telling people what to do. Coaching is not commanding. Coaching is not ordering. Coaching is not teaching. Coaching is not giving instructions.

Coaching merely believes in the capability and wisdom of the person in front of you. Instead of teaching, a coaching leader helps others access their untapped knowledge, understanding, and experiences. Coaching is encouraging people to develop their insights. With the traditional management style, you answer questions. People present their quarries to you and expect you to solve their problems. Coaching is the opposite. As a coaching leader, you ask questions; they give the answers.

You know why? Because they know the answers.

Like a lost horse, people exactly know where they have to reach. They know who they are and what their destination is. However, they sometimes get lost. They get side-tracked. Your role as a coaching leader is to believe in them. Gently and politely bring them back on the track. Your job is not to dictate, not to tell them where they belong to.

The person being coached gains increased clarity regarding the situation or topic, which enables them to make progress somehow. A coach facilitates discussion that increases an individual’s awareness, insight, and available choice in a situation. The leader-coach uses the advanced skill of listening, questions, and reflection to create a powerful Coachee experience. Remember, coaching is not telling people what you think they should do. Coaching is about helping someone gain insights into a situation.

UNDERSTANDING COACHING

In my ‘Speed Coaching’ Training programs, I ask people to pick up a partner in the audience. One of them becomes the boss and the other direct report.

I then ask bosses to say the following to their reports:

• Look, I am the expert here
• I know the answers
• I will tell you what to do
• Follow my instructions

I then ask bosses how they felt saying this. Their ego goes high—they feel self-importance. I also ask reports to share their feelings. I have run this exercise multiple times. Direct reports always feel bad. After all, no one likes to be treated like this. Then I ask them to go back to your partner, saying the following to them:

• You are the expert
• You know better
• What do you think?
• You decide

KEY INSIGHT

Coaching is not telling people what you think they should do. COACHING IS HELPING PEOPLE BE THE VERY BEST THEY CAN BE

This time, I ask the direct reports about their feeling. They report being valued and connected. Surprisingly, bosses also feel good in the second phase of the exercise. They, too, feel connected.

The second phase of the exercise represents the coaching leadership style.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING AND MENTORING

Mentoring and coaching are two different worlds. And yet, people keep using these terms interchangeably. According to HBR, most managers don’t know how to coach and most confuse coaching with consulting or mentoring. Fortunately, the research shows that managers can learn how to coach and improve their coaching skills in just 15 hours, which is why our 2-day experiential workshops are ideal.

To me, there are four significant distinctions between coaching and mentoring:

The first one is the relationship. I have had the privilege to be mentored by the legendary Tony Buzan. I always saw him on a higher pedestal. The relationship was never equal. In our meetings, Tony would speak 95% of the time. My job was to listen. Take notes.

Whereas things are different with Marshall Goldsmith. In his presence, Coachee has to speak most of the time. He will make you feel equal. None of you is at a higher pedestal. It’s a relationship between two equal adults. Every insight is heard. He will ask powerful questions and help you build your ideas. The second distinction is expertise. In my full day interaction with Brian Tracy, I forgot what I already knew. All I wanted was to pay attention to his expert views. Because he is an expert. A mentor is generally someone who is a guru of their field. He is done it, been there type of a person.

On the contrary, Will Linssen, one of the greatest coaches of all time, will make you feel the expert because you are. The coach is only the subject matter specialist. How could he know more than you on your expertise? The coach is the only expert in the coaching process. In my training programs, this is the hardest thing for the leaders and coaches to digest. They like to believe that no one knows more than they do. The third distinction is the solution. In a mentoring relationship, the mentor is responsible for creating the solution. Based on their knowledge, expertise, and experience, mentors produce solutions.

However, in coaching, we believe that the best solution is with the Coachee. As coaches, our job is to stimulate the thought process and provide the Coachee with a safe environment to express their ideas.

The fourth distinction is around tools. The primary mechanism of a mentor is advising. Whereas a coach’s vital tool is ‘questioning.’ When you operate as a command and control leader, you see yourself one up in the relationship as ‘the’ expert, who is responsible for creating solutions to all problems in your domain and advise your team all the time. However, when you choose to be a coaching leader, you operate from a position of equality, believing in the expertise of the person reporting to you, without any pressure to come up with solutions. You rely on intelligent questioning to help the person grow.

As a coaching leader, you fully understand that if you are the most intelligent person in your department, you have not reached the desired leadership level. If your team does not know more than you, doesn’t have more capability than you, it’s a sign of being an insecure leader. When you learn to coach, you enable individuals and teams to perform more effectively and with greater enjoyment. You help them unlock their potential and sustain high performance in your organization.

HOW TO PRODUCE RESULTS?

As a leader, your performance is judged based on the results you produce. To produce results, you have to influence the behaviours and actions of the people working with you. Getting things done through people requires real art.

In his ground-breaking book, ‘Coaching for Performance,’ Sir John Whitmore states that bosses use various methods to gain compliance.

I call them the leadership choices. These choices are available to anyone who wish to achieve results through others. I ran my research to discover these styles. I actively worked with the line managers and the HR leaders to deeply study the leaders’ leadership styles I was asked to teach speed coaching.

We also interacted with the direct reports of my training participants before the training. We gathered in-depth data about the way they were managing their teams. We studied what results they produced and how did they produce it? Their direct reports initially were not willing to share their deepest feelings and experiences. They were fearful of the consequences. Once they were provided with the necessary security, they opened up.

And this is what we found out.

Choice #1

DO AS I SAY

The leaders’ most favourite style was to pass out orders. This indeed is the most widely used tool to ensure compliance. The top benefit is that the one who gives the order enjoys a feeling of being in control. People are required to execute the orders. ‘Most of the time, these orders are given to us without asking us for our opinion. Many times, these orders have no relevance to the ground reality. We don’t dare to disagree with the boss. The price is too high.’ Their direct report reveals.

The downside of giving orders is that it upsets the team. No one likes to be ordered. This surely demotivates the team. Also, it has been observed that people show compliance when the ‘director’ is there. However, they behave differently in the absence of the boss. Resented employees deliver poor performance.

Choice #2

LET ME TELL YOU THE BENEFITS OF IT

Sometimes, tired of giving direct orders or feared with resentment from the team, bosses layout their great idea on the table and attempts to persuade. This is an indirect way of ordering. Everyone in the team finds out what the boss wants. Nobody dares to go against the boss’s will. After all, everyone finds out why the boss is persuading them. They smile inside. Figure out the hidden agenda of the boss and follow the ‘untold’ instructions.

Leaders mistakenly believe that they have created a democratic culture. But deep down, they know that team didn’t have a choice to oppose their idea. The fact is that nothing has much changed. People are just following instructions.

Choice #3

LET THE BEST IDEA WIN

To give the impression that it’s an open forum, leaders sometimes initiate a debate. Everybody is encouraged to share their ideas. Bosses try breaking resistance asking everyone to present their perspective. Diverse viewpoints are presented. Opinions are pooled.

Bosses show a willingness to follow a path other than their own. But deep down, they are fixated to their ideas. If they see the debate going in a direction they don’t approve, they will jump back to either convincing or ordering mode. When bosses use this style, everyone feels involved. However, it is a slow process. Another downside is that when the boss revert to convincing or ordering, the team losses faith in the process.

Choice #4 

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, I AM OUT OF IT

That’s not leadership. This is pure surrender. When leaders repeatedly see their team not carrying out their instructions, they become frustrated. They fail to see the disconnect between their orders and on-ground issues. This frustration turns into anger. Bosses don’t see it working. They run out of ideas. Their teams don’t volunteer to share their ideas deliberately. Out of sheer frustration, bosses choose to escape. They quit responsibility. They leave everything. Giving an impression to the team that they are free to choose whatever they want. The team may perform poorly because of low awareness of certain aspects of the job. There is no discussion on the way forward. Leaders abruptly quit and have no ideas about what the team is going to do. He is blind to the consequences. Surrendering seldom serves the purpose. The team feels obliged or dumped on to take responsibility rather than accepting responsibility. Hence the willingness to take full ownership of the results remains an all-time low.

Choice #5

LETS CO-CREATE A SOLUTION

This style is called coaching. Through an interactive, thought to provoke, mind-expanding dialogue, the employees choose to make the action. Now the leader knows what their direct report is going to do. The employee has full knowledge and ownership of the results. Both are on the same page. No order, no persuading, no debate, no escape. Simply collaboration. Pure speed coaching.

KEY INSIGHT

IT’S TIME TO EMBRACING SPEED COACHING

Once upon a time, ‘managers Gone are the days when you could order people and expect compliance. Leaders are not appreciated when they drop orders from the place of position. More and more businesses are finding that leadership with practical coaching skills is a more desired pathway to progress. Many studies have revealed that employees no longer want to work just to keep their job. They want to work to be a part of something bigger than themselves. They expect their leaders to engage them. Leaders who know how to create belonging and influence can motivate their teams.

Leaders report that initially, they found it hard to embrace speed coaching. It made things slower than faster. It was easy to tell than ask questions and expecting employees to come up with their answers. It required patience, which is becoming rare these days. However, after repeatedly operating from a coaching position, it became their second nature to speed coach. It was more rewarding in the longer run. Their teams started solving problems on their own. Leaders had more time to focus on futuristic and strategic issues.

Leaders around the world are using speed coaching to fast track performance and potential. Now, this is your chance to up your leadership game and take it to a whole new level.